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The Daily Whine, dealing with the stress of potential pre-adolescent prison

Government Preschool = Prison

I thought you told me I wouldn't go to prison if I went to preschool.

I thought you told me I wouldn't go to
prison if I went to preschool.

Things are bad. Everybody knows it. Our culture is toxic. War is profitable. Global warming is an inconvenient truth. Public schools have failed. The nation is addicted to prescription drugs. Corporations steal from their employees. Greed is a virtue. Our water, air and food are toxic. Families are split apart. And now, Big Brother in cahoots with corporations, teachers' unions, and special interest groups is telling parents the answer to our problems is to send all kids to government preschools. What a crock!

Stop the War on Toddlers

It's bad enough that some adults spend more time selecting a new car than they do inspecting the daycare centers where they abandon their newborn babies. Now, in the name of global competition and stopping crime, parents are supposed to hand over their toddlers and let strangers raise them in government preschools? This isn't just bad -- it's crazy.

Big Brother has no right to tell parents how to raise kids. Corporations have no right to tell parents to put their kids in institutions. Teachers unions have no right to lie about how preschool prepares kids for school. Law enforcement officials have no right to make false claims that kids who don't go to preschool will go to prison. Celebrities and politicians need to mind their own business and leave us alone. This is sick and twisted stuff. It's an assault on parental rights. It's a war on toddlers. And if universal preschools take hold it will have a chilling effect on freedom, autonomy, and liberty.

Hell no, we won't go!

PLA soldier on watch.

The head of The Preschool Liberation Army released its Manifesto today and demanded the immediate release of all preschool prisoners.

We're Tykes On Trikes, a coalition of young children (ages 0-5) throughout the world who are ticked off. If our parents won't protect us from this hype, we'll do it ourselves. We have had enough! We are tired of being the pawns of big government, corporations, politicians, teachers' unions, pharmaceutical companies and other special interest groups. We've had it with being abused and imprisoned in government daycare and preschool centers. You want to send us to Universal Preschool? Hell no, we won't go!

Would you? Consider this...

  • Pediatricians warn that Preschool is making kids sick!
  • Researchers warn Preschool is stressing kids out.
  • Preschool expulsion rates are at an all-time high!
  • Preschool academics lead to behavior disorders!
  • Preschool curriculum is dumbing kids down!
  • Preschool is making kids fat!
  • Preschool labels tiny kids with ADHD and drugs them!
  • Preschool is a sorry substitute for parenting.

Power to the Preschoolers!

We have determined to do what adults should have been doing all along - protect all tots and demand a better quality of life for preschoolers in liberty and freedom through The Preschoolers' Bill of Rights.

Anti-preschool graffiti artist tags a patio table.

Anti-preschool graffiti artist tags a patio table.

Pint-Sized Protestors Object to Preschools!

Tykes On Trikes presents our allies who work tirelessly to protect young children everywhere from internment in government subsidized preschool programs and who fight for the freedom and well-being of all preschoolers...

I just can't take another day of preschool.

I just can't take another day of preschool.

Notorious Gecko Gang leader strikes a defiant pose at home, two hours before an anti-preschool demonstration where gang members pelted preschool proponents with wads of homemade playdough.

Notorious Gecko Gang leader strikes a defiant pose, two hours before anti-preschool demonstrations where gang members pelted preschool proponents with wads of homemade playdough.

Arrr! Death to the scurvy bilge rats that want to send me to preschool!

"Arrr! Death to the scurvy bilge rats that want to send me to preschool!"

Preschool Boycott Results in Defeat of Prop 82 in CA!

Tykes On Trikes, in solidarity with preschoolers throughout the state of California and beyond, successfully staged a Preschool Boycott that defeated Proposition 82 -- a cruel and senseless attempt to institutionalize young children in state subsidized preschools. Learn more about the boycott...

Notes & Disclaimers:

  • The word "preschool" as used on this website refers to government subsidized preschools most of the time.
  • The modus operandi of this website is truthiness. (Thank you, Stephen Colbert.)
  • The tykes pictured on this site are real preschoolers, not actors.
  • Yes, we know the site has preschool and daycare ads. Get over it.
  • You can E-mail Tykes On Trikes but don't count on a reply. Anything you write is subject to editing, may be used against you, and might be posted on the site.
  • Are you a disgruntled tyke? Does preschool bring out the worst in you? Send us your photo as proof -- we might put it on this site.
  • This website is supported by donations and private enterprise. No public funds were used for its creation.
  • This website uses the 'Kids' Font for some features. Get the whole experience, get the font. Windows users, save the font to the "fonts" directory inside your Windows installation folder.